Let them PLAY!
- anchoredtherapyser
- Jul 21, 2022
- 2 min read
I bet you know that there are different types of play. You may not know the names of them, but I am sure you can recognize them when you see them. But you may not know how important play is to overall brain and social development.
I feel blessed to say that I grew up in a small town, in a time when kids were allowed to play for hours on end without adult interruption or fear for our safety. I am sure had my parents or other adults witnessed the things we got into, they surely would have guided us in the opposite direction. But oh what opportunities I would have missed.
I often wonder if my, and other adults, well meaning intentions to keep our kids safe, spare their feelings, and teach in every teachable moment is robbing them of genuine opportunities to learn through exploration, trial and error, and risk.
At around ages 4-6, children begin to engage in cooperative or social play. This is a time in a child’s life where they are really learning some foundational social communication competencies.
So here is my Talking Tip Do’s and Don'ts for this week to help your school age child.
DO: Allow your child FREE time to play. Free play allows kids to practice skills they will need as they get older.
Don’t overschedule them.
Don’t enroll them in every adult led activity that they show interest in.
Don’t micromanage WHAT they play or WHO they play with.
DO: Allow your child to negotiate, barter, and even argue a little when they are playing with others. Allow the kids in the group to determine hierarchy. (This doesn’t mean they can be a bully). This teaches children how to work together, advocate, and resolve conflicts.
Don’t fix the argument.
Don’t decide what is fair.
Don’t make sure that everyone gets a turn.
Do you know how many times I heard “You two go work it out.” and guess
what, we DID!
DO: Allow your child to take risks!
This may mean a few scratched knees, bumps on the head, or hurt feelings, but that is OKAY. This is how your child will learn self-regulation, personal boundaries, and independence.
Don’t hover. (It will just make you and your child nervous!)
Don’t fall for the hype. Kids feel BIG emotions, even over little things. When
they come to you with a BIG cry over a little scratch, keep calm, and watch
them imitate your emotion.
DO: Talk to your child after their playdate. Ask them what they did, what did it look like, what was the best part, what went wrong, how did they fix it.
IF your child struggles to play with others:
Plan for opportunities for more structured play opportunities. These are times when you can be a part of the play plan, look for those teachable moments, and foster growth in areas of concern. More on this topic next time!
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